meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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