Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
