I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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