I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
