i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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