So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
