I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
