I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
