I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
