Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
