sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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