At least make sure they are 18
Why
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
