What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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