So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
