Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
