i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
