hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
