My friends, they love my intelligence
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
