No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
