And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
