I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
