dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
