i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
