Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
