She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize