I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
and she was petting her beer can
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
