And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
