Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
