I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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