Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
