i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
