We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
