When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
50% drunk capacity currently
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
