oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
