they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
