She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
