how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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