there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
