This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
