He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
now i know why i became what i already was.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
