As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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