You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
