Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
