that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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