i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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