Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
