i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
