I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
