How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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