all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
